Life fights dirty-always carry spiked knuckles.
I’m sure most of my audience of three to four readers assumed that I’d vanished off the face of the earth in some bizarre, demonic summoning ritual involving copious amounts of pudding and the committing of unspeakable acts with a carpet steamer. I am sorry to disappoint my adversaries, but I am afraid I’m quite alive and well, with a new underling hailing from the ninth circle of hell. He’s really quite a likable chap once you get past his insatiable thirst for the blood of the innocent, and his desire to destroy mankind (no, he’s not the CEO of any major corporations, though he has admitted that their methods are too cruel and extreme even for him. He’s more lawyer material).
Insane ramblings aside, it has been a while, hasn’t it? I’ve a perfectly legitimate armature of reasons pertaining to why I’ve neglected GI as of late, only a few of which I intend to share with my dear readers. They are as follows:
1) Life is a bitch. A fickle bitch who enjoys the taste of human tears more than Adam West loves taffy- and he is a man who loves his taffy.
2) As I am a student, I am currently in the throes of the horrifically stressful, mind-shattering time of year known as ‘final exams’. If I don’t come out of this alive, I love you all. Take care of my snake, and don’t break my xbox- it’s the phylactery that will ensure I will rise several years later as an affront to all that is good and holy.
3) I have the work ethic of a sloth- a brain damaged sloth hopped on enough morphine to kill a bull rhinocerous. I have a theory that, somewhere along the line of this year, my discipline/work ethic had a falling out with my creativity. I warned them that engaging in such an intimate relationship while they were living together was a terrible, terrible idea, but they just wouldn’t listen. Needless to say, Work Ethic was missing for several months, during which time Creativity sunk into an impenetrable stupor of severe depression. After a downward spiral consisting of a series of self-destructive, drunken benders, Work Ethic has returned, swearing it will be different this time. I think they may have kissed and made up sometime in the recent days, as they’re still too busy in the sack for me to get much concrete work done. I’ll leave you to consider how twisted the inner workings of my brain are, and move on.
4) I really haven’t had a whole lot to write about, in lieu of the above.
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Now that I’ve given you a look into just how much my sanity has degraded in recent days (This raises the question of whether or not I had sanity to begin with, actually), it’s time to actually get down to business- the blog. I’ll start with the least recent development in my gaming life, and move up to the most recent.
FEAR 2 was interesting- though I never really got to play it with anyone else, due to the lack of a multiplayer feature. It’s more one of those games when you play at three AM after having avoided sleeping for a period of time in excess of twenty four hours. When one’s brain is so addled by sleep deprivation, reality and the game onscreen tend to blur into one frightening, incredibly disturbing singularity-until, eventually, one achieves complete equilibrium with the console, and all centers of the brain not vital to gameplay entirely shut down. One can have a book hurled at their head when they are in this state, and remain focused-I speak from personal experience.
Regardless, it was fairly entertaining, though I never managed to get through the entire game, as it was a rental. And while I was infinitely curious and eager to play FEAR, I never got the chance- the package I rented contained a copy of lego batman instead. Either somebody was a few brain cells short of a functioning neural pathway, or they had a very, very twisted sense of humor. In any case, I returned it for Marvel Vs. DC-which I still haven’t bothered to play, or return. I should probably get on that before Blockbuster sends their anti-theft ninjas after me. If you’re one of those sorts who’s looking for a good scare from their gaming experience, I would recommend FEAR 2. Try playing it while intoxicated on some sort of narcotic, and inform me of how that turns out.
A week or two ago, I finally got around to purchasing Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon for the Nintendo DS. I enjoyed it so much, I’m attempting a second playthrough- complete with farming the arena for levels, since I dearly want to wipe that smug look off of a certain friend’s face when next we do battle. A review of the game will be forthcoming.
While visiting my parents for Easter, I dug through some of my old CDs, and hit the mother lode of gaming- I found, neatly organized and virtually alphabetized, every playstation one title I ever owned. Final Fantasy VII, Megaman Legends 1 and 2, Megaman x 4-6, Twisted Metal 1-4….I am thoroughly amazed I did not die from the massive joygasm my brain experienced at that moment. I suspect I may have suffered a slight aneurism, at the very least. That’s been consuming a lot of my time as of late- like the true megaman buff I am, I’ve steeled myself to play through every single one of my Megaman games- perhaps twice. I may then move on to Final Fantasy VII, and then Twisted Metal…beyond that, who knows? Needless to say, they’ve rekindled my love of Sony’s old system.
Finally, I purchased Demigod recently. I haven’t actually played it much- I played a single game as Vampire Lord (Who I enjoyed playing immensely. I will try some of the other heroes, but I do believe I may have carved out my niche in that game). I will also compose a review on this title quite soon, after I’ve had more of a chance to experience it. But before I say anything else about it, I just want to make one thing very, very clear. Are you all listening? Here goes:
THIS GAME IS NOT DOTA.
Did you catch that? Should I say it again? I’ll say it more slowly, so all my ‘special’ readers can grasp the basic concept of the message I’m attempting to convey:
DEMIGOD. IS NOT. FUCKING. DOTA.
The Demigod forums are currently flooded with ignorant trolls pissing and moaning about how Demigod is ‘nothing like their beloved dota’. Of course it’s not- it’s a different game. Does it have a very similar playstyle to Dota? Yes. Is it somewhat more simple and easier to grasp than Dota? Yes. Is it it more fun than Dota? I answer this very tentatively, but from what I’ve seen so far….yes.
People who buy Demigod expecting Dota 2.0 will be disappointed. This is the problem with the entertainment industry- all people seem to want anymore is re-reiterations of the same crap. Postmodernists have a very strong leg to stand on here. In any case, I will launch into more detail at a later date. For now, this entry is getting rather convoluted.
I bid you all adieu. For all you students out there, keep focused on the light at the end of the tunnel- you’d better hope to god it’s not a karmic train ready to steamroll you flat on the tracks.
